I believe I conceived “Kathleen’s Closet” as a way of coming to some peaceful terms with my own mortality.

At the time, I was looking at the world and my participation in it, through a glass half empty. I had started to doubt my life’s work. I had started to doubt that I would ever direct my own narrative film. So I decided to ignore the deadlines for grants, competitions and festivals and instead to focus my energies on connecting to a higher power.

The story of “Kathleen’s Closet” came to me in a filmic flash during a meditation.

A nurse in Goth, meets a dying, ancient flapper and both of their lives are changed forever.

I then started thinking about and I guess planning my own death. What will I be thinking about as I take my last breath? Will I know with certainty that I loved well and deeply? Will I know with certainty that I lived my best life? Will I die alone? Who will be with me when I go? Will I be able to find peace, and grace in the leaving of this life?

The writing of this film has changed me. I see Janet, in a brilliant red flapper dress, riding on a dilapidated bicycle down a country road, with a feather boa of the same colour flying behind her, as a metaphor for life. She is my talisman on how to live life.

Directing this film has confirmed for me that when something is conceived from a connection to that higher power it will draw to it all the right people, places, elements and energy necessary for its manifestation. And the making of it in and of itself will be transformative.

I remember standing on set watching the cinematographer Larry Lynn film the death scene. His wife, Babz Chula, was playing the part of the dying Kathleen. When I softly called out “Cut!”, he ran to his wife on the bed and took her in his arms. And I remember feeling so grateful for this film that had not yet been made – because it was already touching other people’s lives.

Today I am trying to live my best life. I am loving well and deeply. I intend to see beauty in everything, especially death. And when the time comes, if a gorgeous woman appears I will ask for: “Bourbon, Reefer, and Red Dress”. And if she’d like to dance for me, I won’t say “No”.